current mood: Yeah
current tunes: I Eat Children - Bondage Fairies

i call this the Ramblings page and i dont even ramble on it often

i think i just use it as a diary more. i enjoy writing those self-reflection rants, but sometimes i would just liek to talk about my dumb shows and games.

I will not be doing that today. instead i am just writing all of this and making a blog post as an excuse to share this doodle i made

< thats basically what i do when im not working on this god forsaken website that im not even obligated to work on

uhm hopefully those darn collection pages will come up soon. Errr stay tuned

current mood: caffeinated
current tunes: Warning - Incubus my song of 2025

happy new year everyone

this year was fun and had it had some great moments, but i think too much happened too fast. It was a little stressful Honestly

i discovered my favorite Show and Movie this year. The Venture Bros. and The Thing (1982). That's pretty special to me, because I never really had a favorite show/movie. both are the coolest things ever and i recommend them okay

besides checking out a bunch of Cool New medias, I did a ton of awesome things too.

the most awesome thing was in May, where i spent a day in Daytona to see my favorite bands (Incubus and Linkin Park) play at Rockville. Incubus played Warning, my favorite song ever. The second it started i bursted into tears.

i made that drawing in the cracker barrel i went to cool off in

---

i went to so many cool places
met So many nice people
Coded so much
played so many games..

there's too much to write about. i just had a ton of fun!!! i had a great birthday and awesome christmas too, despite the end of this year being a little rough for me :^)

im not the kind of guy to make New Years resolutions, because i usually just forget them. But I hope this upcoming year is even better. and i think i'll try and become a lot better too.

current mood: sleepy
current tunes: I Will Breathe Fire - Strata

sorry 4 not updating again. Even though i'm not required to lol

about a month ago, i did the Webmaster Questionnaire, and i realized many of my answers were just me ranting about how much i hate everything i do and i just dont like coding.

when i was answering those questions, i thought it was kind of funny. but looking back and rereading the stuff i said, i just feel sad. it made me realize that i really never say nice things about my own work. and, i think that its funny to bring myself down.

im constantly just forcing myself to improve. i always end up getting burnt out. improvement is absolutely a good thing, but there isnt a moment where i allow myself to just.. step back and be content with how i am now.

i guess thats why you saw so many iterations of BloodGulch this year. im glad ive only gotten kind comments about every layout ive made. it made me feel better when i wasnt proud of my site. to most people, it was just another cool homepage. Thats cool.

---

BloodGulch has not only made me more creatively productive this year, but also more comfortable with showing off my work publicly. kind of.

i really hate being social, seen, and percieved. ive always been like this, but these past couple years have made it worse.

i often have to force myself to go out, or keep things public. i guess i dont have to, but im pretty sure thats unhealthy. I Shouldnt See It As A Choice, Anyway. i would always choose to hide if i did.

keeping my site up is Really Hard for me, but its worth it i guess. its a slow process, and i think im getting there. hell, actually Uploading this blog post is a huge step 4 me.

---

this website has surprisingly taken up most of my life this year, and its something i think about often. im proud of my site, despite how much it can pain me at times. im grateful 4 everyone and everything

BloodGulch isnt going anywhere, and lets hope that 2026 will be an even better year for this site

umm. okay im done now. bye

current mood: whatever
current tunes: Smash - The Offspring

i need to start writing for my site more. i already do a lot of writing for Myself. i have a diary on my notes app that i write in almost daily. nothing crazy happens there (usually), i just talk about whatevers on my mind.

i could be doing that here and giving whoever actually views this site more to look at. i just cant imagine letting the people of The Internet see my inner thoughts. im constantly watering myself down and worrying about what others think, and i honestly really shouldnt

how are you guys able to talk about yourselves so openly. like seriously

anyway. i'm working hard on the Doug shrine. i have a hard time writing about the things i like for the same reasons above, so i've been kind of nervous about uploading it. i'm only going to upload that page so theres proof that i am Doug's #1 fan.

thanks for reading i guess. i'll probably post again soon But dont expect anything